One of my mom’s favorite phrases to say is “keep on living.” Meaning as I age, one day I’ll learn certain life lessons at the appointed time. After recently celebrating my 30th birthday and reflecting on my twenties, I finally understand what she meant. Here’s 3 pieces of wisdom my twenties gave me:
1. I Am Not God
Naturally, we want to see the best in others and want them to thrive, so we’ll exhaust every method we know to help others discover their excellence. Being kind-hearted is an amazing attribute, but if we’re not careful, we’ll start to think of people as projects instead of equals. Potential only builds when someone is willing to flex that muscle. No matter how much we are in someone’s corner, we cannot fix, heal, change or save them.
2. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
When you’re accustomed to putting everything and everyone else before yourself, it can seem problematic. However, watching others freely care for their needs without consideration of yours can be more frustrating than keeping the peace. While luxurious bubble baths and beauty routines are a form of self-care, that’s not what I mean. I’m talking heart work. When’s the last time we took time to slow down and examine what was draining our energy in our jobs, relationships and the foods we consume? Or took serious inventory of our characteristics and dealt with the accountability we run from or jealousy we battle with? Though it sounds cliché, we truly can’t love others effectively until we love ourselves and our imperfections first.
3. Quit Giving Fear Power
Most times, we talk ourselves out of great things because of fear. Fear that we will fail, fear that its “too late”, fear that we won’t be appreciated for who we really are in spite of mistakes we’ve made. Let me be the first to tell you, God hasn’t given you the spirit of fear and the only reason why it becomes a giant in our lives is because we feed it with our thoughts and words. Although it’s easier said than done, do it scared. The dreams we have, the families we desire, the versions of ourselves we see so vividly are attainable, if we step out in faith and walk toward them. Even if things don’t turn out the way we’d like, we lose nothing and gain more courage to try again.
Wisdom is often presented to us in unpredictable and uncomfortable ways, but through the trials we emerge better and stronger than we were before. My twenties definitely tested my limits, but as a result, bondages were broken. Cheers to my thirties.
Celebrate yourself,
Mel
Melisha Queyandra 
Such a blessing! Amazing! ❤️
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